Enough is Enough

Chapter Twenty-Two - Now or Never

I have been moving so fast lately, creating new content, new offerings and studying, alongside all of my other worldly duties- being a partner, a stepmum, cooking, cleaning, resting and trying to keep everything moving. It has all felt like a charge of energy as we move through such an incredible time of transition. Spring has arrived, and I am writing this on the equinox, already aware of just how full the rest of my week is going to be.

I am learning some good lessons about how much is too much, and when enough is actually enough. If I am honest, I think this is a truth I have been trying to understand my whole life. I want to serve, create and build a solid foundation for myself, my family and my community, but I can easily lose sight of what is actually reasonable to ask of myself.

I have worked hard for as long as I can remember, and I am starting to see that the little girl inside me may never naturally believe that it is enough.

There will always be one more thing to do.

One more thing to create.

One more way to prove that I am working hard.

This week a friend said to me, “Isn't the whole point to reach a place where you can step back, relax and take it easy?” But I don't want to stop. I want to work, create and grow. I just want to learn how to do that without constantly pushing myself beyond my capacity.

This week I made the decision not to serve at the market (for this week) so I could be fully grounded and present for the first Season of Becoming workshop and then the kirtan afterwards. Releasing just this one offering from my day was surprisingly difficult, but the moment I made the call, I felt instantly lighter.

I could exhale.

And that was when I realised how much pressure I had been quietly putting myself under.

I could see the little girl inside me running so fast, trying to show that she was doing enough, that she was useful, that she was worthy.

And instead of asking her to keep running, I picked her up.

You are enough.

Breathe.

You are doing a great job.

That moment gave me so much clarity.
Maybe balance for me is not about stopping.

Perhaps “now or never” is not about chasing every opportunity, but finally choosing the life I actually want to be living.

Maybe it is about learning that I can still move forward without constantly running.