The Voice I Give Back
Chapter Twenty : The Gift I Am Given
I Am Bound to It. This Gift…
and so are you.
It is endless, fabricated and infinite,
yet we have only been given a limited amount.
There are three things in this life that I feel bind me to my existence. Two of them, to some degree, I can control.
The first is my body.
I can choose what I feed it. I can nourish it through sattvic qualities — through food, music, movement, practice, environment and the ways I choose to live. Or I can fill it with more rajasic and tamasic qualities.
(See the practice at the bottom of this letter for a deeper understanding of these qualities.)
These choices affect the way I feel, the energy I carry and, inevitably, the way I experience my life.
Then there is my mind, the second binding.
Again, I have some choice here.
I can feed thoughts that are positive or negative. I can choose what I give my attention to. I can continue to strengthen thoughts that make my world feel heavy, fearful and small, or I can consciously turn towards what feels lighter, kinder and more expansive.
Of course, it is not always as simple as choosing happy over sad, right over wrong, or light over heavy.
But I do believe that what I repeatedly feed my mind begins to shape the reality I experience.
And then there is the third.
The one that, perhaps, has the greatest control over me.
Something I cannot catch or hold onto.
I cannot slow it down.
I cannot speed it up.
I cannot create more of it.
Not with all the money in the world.
Not through bargaining.
Not through wishing.
Not through asking.
It governs my days, my weeks, my years - my entire life.
My relationship with it changes as I move through the different seasons of my existence, yet it never changes with me.
It simply continues.
Breath to breath.
Moment to moment.
Second to second.
Time.
A fabricated concept,measured by the movement of light, somehow holds every one of us within its grasp.
Sometimes I feel it holding me so tightly that I can barely breathe beneath the pressure of everything I think I need to do before there is no more of it.
And then there are other moments when time feels vast and almost endless.
Moments of peace.
Boredom.
Loneliness.
Stillness.
Sometimes I want it to move faster so I can feel less.
Other times I want it to move slower so I can feel more.
But one thing remains certain:
Time stops for no one.
We have each been given a small container of this precious gift that, outside of us, appears infinite.
Within this brief window of existence, there are endless possibilities.
People to love.
Places to see.
Things to create.
Truths to discover.
Mistakes to make.
Lessons to learn.
Hands to hold.
Songs to sing.
Moments to simply be alive.
And so I have found myself asking a much deeper question:
How do I wish to spend this brief amount of time I have been given on this beautiful Earth?
This week, I came to a deeper realisation of what I believe my purpose is.
It is to serve.
First, to serve myself.
To care for this body and mind in a way that supports the healthiest, happiest and most truthful life I am capable of living.
Not from selfishness, but because I cannot give from a place that is completely empty.
Then, to serve my family, my friends.
The people I love and those whose lives are closely woven into mine.
To offer them my presence, my patience, my listening, my care and, perhaps most importantly, my time.
And from there, to serve the greater community.
To offer myself fully through what I have experienced, what I have learned and what I continue to learn.
Not simply for financial gain.
Not for praise.
Not for recognition or gratification.
But because perhaps one of the greatest things I can do with the time I have been given is use some of it in service of another.
Time is priceless.
And when I truly think about that, giving someone my time becomes one of the most valuable offerings I can offer.
To sit with someone.
To listen.
To teach.
To sing.
To nourish.
To hold space.
To share something I have learned along the way that may make another person's journey a little easier.
This is becoming clearer to me as my calling.
It is my truth.
It is my ambition.
Not to collect as much as I possibly can within this lifetime, but to ask:
How much of myself can I meaningfully give while I am here?
Because eventually this body will return to the Earth.
The thoughts that once felt so important will disappear.
The roles, achievements, worries, plans and identities I held so tightly will loosen their grip.
And time will continue without me.
So while I am here, while I have breath moving through my lungs, song to sing and another moment arriving before me, I want to use it well.
To love deeply.
To serve freely.
To live fully.
And perhaps, instead of trying so desperately to hold onto time,
I can learn to give myself completely
to the moment it has already given me.
My True Service to you
and how you can serve me
If you have been enjoying my writing - and I know many of you have, because I am so deeply grateful for the messages and feedback I receive - I also know that many of you appreciate the different ways I offer myself through my work.
I have never really spoken about this so openly before, but I think perhaps it is time. And somehow, slipping it quietly into this letter feels like the perfect place.
If you resonate with my words, my presence, or the light you believe you see in me, please know this:
The light you see in me is also the light within you.
And if you ever feel called to experience the place where I believe I offer myself most fully, come and hear me sing.
This is my truest offering.
This is where I feel most connected to healing, to service, to community and to something much larger than myself.
You do not need to know Hare Krishna.
You do not need to know Om Namah Shivaya.
You do not need to understand Sanskrit, mantra or any particular spiritual tradition.
These are simply the vessels I am currently using to express something I have carried within me for as long as I can remember.
I have been singing my whole life.
And beneath all the roles I have taken on, all the things I have studied, all the ways I have learned to serve,
singing has always remained at the centre of me.
It is how I give myself.
It is how I connect.
It is how I pray.
It is how I reach towards the greater Self.
I remember being around eight years old and asking God what I had come here to do.
Somewhere inside me, even then, I already knew.
“You came here to sing”
And I think I am finally ready to stop hiding the importance of that truth.
To sing is not simply something I enjoy.
It is my calling.
It is one of the deepest ways I know how to offer my time, my heart and my presence to this world.
